The Holy Grail of Hostadom

viktoria · Post by **viktoria** » Jul 23, 2007 5:10 pm

Garden owner prefers to remain unnamed, as does the photographer, who did give me permission to use the pics, along with the following commentary:

After many years of trying some rather unconventional hybridizing techniques (an oblique reference to cross species pollination was heard in passing) the garden owner has successfully achieved some amazing results in his/her breeding program. They claim to have some checkered leafed plants but are not yet ready to go public with those results.

digs57 · Post by **digs57** » Jul 23, 2007 5:16 pm

Let's see -

1. painted? (is that more of the same paint I see on the ground?)

2. grown in a bucket of red dye?

You should've saved it for April Fool's Day!

eastwood2007 · Post by **eastwood2007** » Jul 23, 2007 5:18 pm

Here's me sitting in front of the computer with my mouth hanging open!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still hanging open....still.....stilll.....oh, my!

druff · Post by **druff** » Jul 23, 2007 5:39 pm

looks like someone made a mess while painting the deck

Kent · Post by **Kent** » Jul 23, 2007 6:18 pm

Viktoria....Bob told you to paint the barn not the hostas!!!!!!

Kent

Ginger · Post by **Ginger** » Jul 24, 2007 10:19 am

I can't wait to hear the real story on this!

G

roflol · Post by **roflol** » Jul 25, 2007 12:42 am

I don't see anything "funny" about it...

... that's the same color I turn when I get overmuch sun too.

But that sure would brighten up a shady spot, wouldn't it? Ooooh, or a nice shade of neon orange....

Terri

hostadad · Post by **hostadad** » Jul 25, 2007 1:59 am

I might as well get on the band wagon too............

HEY EVERYBODY.....I spent 10 years hybridizing this baby, check this out.

Spider · Post by **Spider** » Jul 25, 2007 4:09 pm

Hostadad, that reminds me of the Rolling Stones tounge thing.

Rookie_Green_Thumb · Post by **Rookie_Green_Thumb** » Jul 25, 2007 4:54 pm

You guys joke...but those would be so friggin cool in a garden!!!!

Looks like some sort of tropical hostas!

Can you imagine how much you would PAY to have a hosta look like the one of those two? The red one would be awesome...and the blue and purple one would be too cool!

thy · Post by **thy** » Jul 25, 2007 6:20 pm

Victoria.. is it still raining ??????

dont even want red hostas

jobranch · Post by **jobranch** » Jul 25, 2007 8:44 pm

HostaDad, you could call it H. Blacklight or something like that.

AlwaysWeeding · Post by **AlwaysWeeding** » Jul 25, 2007 9:26 pm

I love the first one - looks pretty real to me, worth Millions!
How about we just work on new edges, maybe like this one:

http://www.intergate.com/~gryhnds/CJs_W ... gative.JPG

pic didn't work, so go look...

Homer_Zn5 · Post by **Homer_Zn5** » Jul 25, 2007 10:12 pm

Okay, Viktoria, I appreciate you keeping my name under wraps, and I won't reveal the photographer. However, I do feel like I need to come out and set the record straight.

The first hosta shown is actually the first of what I am calling my breakthrough into the world of plant breeding and hosta hybridizing. I haven't come up with a name, but it is a fifth generation back cross from (H. 'Bleading Heart' x H. 'One Man's Treasure') x (H. lancifola x H. 'Cinnamon Stix'). I had to treat the seeds with colchicine and germinate them under black lights, continually watering the seedlings with the juice from those glow sticks that you can get on sale after Halloween.

The second hosta is really dear to my heart, because it shows the seersuckering that I so admire in the sieboldiana types, and I was actually able to get the red/purple color into the cross. Again, colchicine, black lights, and BAP-10 were used in culturing, so this one is a tetraploid. I expect some amazing flowers out of this one.

If you can help me come up with a name, I may share a division with you, and offer you a weekend stay in my cottage on the lake for some hybridizing fun. Who has some suggestions?

maidofshade · Post by **maidofshade** » Jul 25, 2007 10:53 pm

Homer, Sounds like you should name it Red Light District

Do you have any scientific studies to support your methods

hostadad · Post by **hostadad** » Jul 26, 2007 2:47 am

Homer....Can you please expound on this hosta please. You remember this one, it's the one you were experimenting on using altered D N A sources injected with high levels of radioactive isotopes.......Surely you haven't forgotten.......Then, using a centrifuge you separated the molecular components of it's genes thereby adding the result to a bag of Alfalfa pellets. Don't you remember now....THEN, you amended the soil with the pellets to the hosta seedling pictured below....Thus showing it's results in one weeks time. Tell me more Homer, More I say!!!...........

viktoria · Post by **viktoria** » Jul 26, 2007 6:04 am

I guess Homer is out of the closet. Should he have stayed in there?

Homer_Zn5 · Post by **Homer_Zn5** » Jul 26, 2007 7:53 am

hostadad wrote:Homer....Can you please expound on this hosta please. You remember this one, it's the one you were experimenting on using altered D N A sources injected with high levels of radioactive isotopes.......Surely you haven't forgotten.......Then, using a centrifuge you separated the molecular components of it's genes thereby adding the result to a bag of Alfalfa pellets. Don't you remember now....THEN, you amended the soil with the pellets to the hosta seedling pictured below....Thus showing it's results in one weeks time. Tell me more Homer, More I say!!!...........

You know that I sent you that picture in confidence! Oh well, the cat is out of the alfalfa bag now. Yes, this one will be called H. 'Frankenstein's Bride', and was created by innoculating the soil with microbes that have radioactive plasmids spliced into their DNA. I'm not sure how many of you know, but this invasion by the radioactive plasmid microbes would normally take many years, but by innoculating Alfalfa with these microbes greatly speeds up the uptake of the microbes and growth of the plant due to the interaction of Triaconatrol from the Alfalfa. Of course, this only works if you grow the seedlings out in the soil, and not in pot culture.

Oh, the centrifuge interaction . . . I almost forgot. The vials used in the centrifuge MUST be the used plastic bodies from the neon glow sticks. It's great for recycling, and it gives a little kick to the microbes when they are being separated out.

Well, now all my secrets are spilled, I guess Tony Avent will be releasing plants twice as good as this next year now that he knows my procedures.

"That's about right. Next year I'll be putting you out of business, Homer." Quote from Tony Avent.

Homer_Zn5 · Post by **Homer_Zn5** » Jul 26, 2007 7:56 am

maidofshade wrote:Homer, Sounds like you should name it Red Light District Do you have any scientific studies to support your methods

There are loads of scientific studies to support these methods, but I'm not telling you which ones. Everyone with a PhD knows that this is how you make red hostas, and they shared the secret with me just before our weekly Bingo game.

Linda P · Post by **Linda P** » Jul 26, 2007 8:19 am

Homer, your science seems perfectly sound, your results spectacular, and it's so good of you to share them with hostadad.
However, I think for my experiments I'll stick to the tried-and-true can of Rustoleum. On the other hand, I have a lovely burnished bronze hosta that curiously complements the nearby cedar-toned deck.
Perhaps we can work on injecting some DNA from a salamander, and find a hosta that will automatically blend with the surroundings? Do you think that could also be transmitted through the alfalfa meal? I don't have any tools to extract the DNA from the salamander, so I'm passing the idea on to you. Feel free to use it as you see fit.

Linda P