Dog and Cat Diary. *S*

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Dog and Cat Diary. *S*

Postby Tundra_Queen » Feb 06, 2005 12:02 am


A Dog's Diary

7am - Oh Boy! Breakfast! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! A nap! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! Animal Planet! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dinner! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Grandma! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing with my "baby"! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in Dana's bed! My favorite!

A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and commented about what a good little kitty I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was because of my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously an idiot. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time....

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Dog and Cat Diary. *S*



Postby Old earth dog » Feb 06, 2005 2:52 am

:eek: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: !!PERFECT!! I'll bet the cat that wrote that is a real tail flipper too. :wink:
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Postby patsue53 » Feb 06, 2005 7:48 am

:lol: :lol: That pretty much says it all!
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Postby PeggyC » Feb 06, 2005 8:39 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: Cute!
"A friend is someone who knows the song of your soul and sings it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

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Postby newtohosta-no more » Feb 07, 2005 6:53 am

True to nature...that's for sure. :lol:
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Tomorrow is promised to no one, so love and laugh today.
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Postby Lionitus » Feb 07, 2005 9:12 pm

Oh my, too funny! I'm printing a copy to put on our fridge. Our whole family loves and has kitties. They are going to love this one. Thanks for sharing it. Cheered me right up.
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Postby jmboyer » Feb 11, 2005 7:42 pm

The person who wrote this really understands the cat psyche. Very funny!
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Postby KatailS » Feb 12, 2005 6:22 am

:lol: :lol:
Oh... how very true!!!
Thanks for sharing (and making me smile)!
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