A painful decision looms, please give me your perspective

Lionitus · Post by **Lionitus** » Feb 20, 2005 12:17 pm

We are still in the grips of Puppy's illness. Some days he looks good, other days, like today, he struggles quite a bit. He is trembling today (not the first time I've noticed this.) I know he is weak from not eating and I am trying everything I possibly can to get him to eat. But he resists most foods and I think my best efforts are futile. He keeps walking up to me and just letting out a mournful cry. He has picked a new spot to call his own in a spare bedroom, right in front of the window on the dresser in there. So I put a soft blanket on top of the dresser and erected a new birdfeeder right outside the window to entertain him. He seems very happy there. The sun shines in the window and gives him extra warmth (every kitty's dream, huh?) I'm heartbroken because I think it's time to make the decision I've avoided so vehemently. Oh, this just hurts. But I can imagine how much it hurts Puppy. What keeps me from just doing it is days like yesterday. He did well yesterday. He ate unusually well, spent most of the day on the back porch sleeping in the warm sunshine and purred like crazy when I would talk to him and hold him. But the days like today are so hard. I keep thinking it's ok to keep him hanging on if he can have days like yesterday. I don't think I can take driving him to the vet kicking and screaming to put him down.

Is it wrong of me to keep him with us if he still has days like yesterday? He truly seems to have more of the better days than the bad days. It's just easy to loose confidence in myself and the way I'm handling this on the bad days. I've never had an animal die a slow death like this. I guess I'm looking for some encouragement and honest opinions about how I'm managing this situation.

Thanks,
Lionitus

Old earth dog · Post by **Old earth dog** » Feb 20, 2005 12:43 pm

Lionitis, those of us here at Hallson's that have gone through this are hurting with you. Myself, I've never had fewer than 3-4 furkids at a time in the last 35-40 yrs. I've been through this many times and it never gets easier. They are our family, not just that cute little critter that we feed and pat on the head. As hard as it may be, I've come to realize that doing what's best for them isn't always what we want for our selves. I've gone as far as having to help my furkids to stand in the morning, and help them lay down at naps. I've cried while I stood and held them while the do their business because they couldn't stand by themselves. I wont put them through that anymore for no reason other than I can't let them go. For yourself, the wonderful memmories of puppy's good times with you are what you keep after he's gone over the rainbow bride. For him it will be that sunny window in a special place to watch the birds.

Deb118 · Post by **Deb118** » Feb 20, 2005 12:55 pm

Not much more can be said than what OED just said.
Follow your heart, Lionitus. We're here to support you in which ever way it leads you.

PeggyC · Post by **PeggyC** » Feb 20, 2005 3:22 pm

Lionitus, I'm so very sorry that you are going through this. The best advice I can give you is what Deb said and that is to follow your heart. You alone know what is best for Puppy and as agonizing as it is, you will make the right decision for him. My heart goes out to you and my thoughts will be with you. Peg

amr-ind · Post by **amr-ind** » Feb 20, 2005 4:11 pm

((Lionitus)) ((Puppy))

I've had to help three furfriends find peace and each time was heart wrenching. But I could tell each time that they were asking "Mom" to help them one last time to release them from their suffering. I knew with each one that they had no more good days ahead. Like others have said, you are the closest one to your pet and they will let you know when you can help them.

My prayers are with you and Puppy at this time! Ann

janet · Post by **janet** » Feb 20, 2005 4:31 pm

My heart goes out to you, Lionitus, and the decision has to be one of the hardest any human can make. From your past posts, I sense that there is a good relationship between you and your vet. Might I suggest that you ask your vet if the injection could be given at your home? I know several instances where this was done and it was much easier for all concerned. Just a thought. We are all here for you

newtohosta-no more · Post by **newtohosta-no more** » Feb 20, 2005 5:19 pm

My heart breaks for you. It IS such a terrible decision to have to make, so I guess the one thing that would decide for me would be the answer to this question: "Is Puppy in pain and suffering?" Sometimes the answer to that is difficult to know ,since they can't tell us in our language. But when they refuse to eat, or are unable to eat, and seem to have other problems then it is probably time to make that difficult decision and do what is in their best interest. I believe that God loves all his creatures , so has a special place for our furkids in heaven. I know that may not be much comfort now when you're trying to make this decision, but I hope it does give you some comfort and peace later. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and help support you physically in this, but I can't. But please know that I , and all the others here with furkids, understand what you are going through.

Snow · Post by **Snow** » Feb 20, 2005 5:43 pm

I think, if you are having nagging doubts, you may need to give it a few more days. Ask your vet if Puppy is suffering - that's the most important thing to know. I think what you are struggling with, is having his last hours spent in fear away from home, with strangers. That IS hard. When you decide it's time, arrange with your vet to allow you to spend as long as you need to alone in the room with Puppy, reassuring him and giving him lots of love. You may be able to get him so relaxed that the vet can quietly slip in and put him to rest with a minimum of anxiety on his part. I cant tell you how to reduce your own anxiety - but trust that the vet has seen lots of people (myself included) sobbing with grief as they go through this - they understand and will be very supportive.

patsue53 · Post by **patsue53** » Feb 20, 2005 5:51 pm

Nothing to add but a Hug. (((Lionitus and Puppy)))

Lionitus · Post by **Lionitus** » Feb 20, 2005 8:07 pm

Thank you all for the support I needed. You are all so full of kind hearts and spirits. I know that you understand. Darn, the tears are flowing now. I'm going to have a talk with my vet to see what he thinks and to ask if he might consider euthanising Puppy at home. Puppy had a good helping of shredded cheddar cheese from my salad this evening. That has always been of his favorites.

I can't say enough about how much you all help me and each other. This is especially hard on us this time because we just relocated 500 miles from home and I haven't yet met many people. So all my friends and family are far from me. Thank goodness we have found a wonderful furkid doctor.

Thank you again and again. I appreciate each and every one of you so much. I can feel the hugs and I pass each one on to Puppy! He loves hugs.

wild4flowers · Post by **wild4flowers** » Feb 20, 2005 8:36 pm

(((Lionitus & Puppy)))

We've all been there. Its really, really hard. Do what is best for Puppy. CHAR

Tundra_Queen · Post by **Tundra_Queen** » Feb 21, 2005 12:49 am

I'm so sorry to know u have to go thru this. I have been thru it a few times too.
I was going to mention asking your vet to come to your house to help Puppy cross over. We did that for one dog that didn't care for the vet and for the other one who loved the vets we took him there. Both were extremely hard and it doesn't get easier,but it is your decision.

Thinking of you and Puppy.
((Lionitus and Puppy))
Debbie

jmboyer · Post by **jmboyer** » Feb 21, 2005 12:48 pm

Lionitus, my heart is with you during this difficult time. All the comments written above are caring and lovely (OED your words brought me to tears), and we all share with you the end time of a beloved animal companion. Snow's gentle and poignant approach is a wonderful idea. Please know that we are all with you in spirit and our loving arms are around you and Puppy.

wishiwere · Post by **wishiwere** » Feb 25, 2005 12:41 am

{{Lionitus}} Be praying for an easy passing for Puppy when the time comes. And praying for your strength to get through it all also. I'll be in the same position one day with the twins and I know what you mean, about putting off the inevitable to even think about it

{{hugs}} to all.