My sweet boy, Kibbie, is gone

jmboyer · Post by **jmboyer** » May 05, 2005 7:01 pm

The vets at the animal hospital did all they could to save my Kibbie, who had ingested antifreeze somehow at a place we could not discover. It could have been merely a small, excessively sweet puddle in someone's driveway. I'll never really know. The vets told me that unless one actually sees the animal drinking the deadly potion and immediately gets him or her to the vet, the likelihood of survival is nil. For Kibbie, there was no hope at all. The kindest thing I could do, they said, would be to let him go, to let him be humanely euthanized. And so I did. I held him close and watched his precious face while one vet gave him the shot that would end his life. Kibbie was looking right at me. The last thing his saw was me. The last thing he heard was my thanking for being such a wonderful companion and telling him how very much I loved him. Then he was gone.

The photo of him below in the garden near the statue of St. Francis, the patron saint of animals, has always been one of my favorites of Kibbie. So that is where I buried him. I removed the hostas 'Austin Dickinson' and 'Scooter,' buried Kibbie in front of the statue in a sealed box into which I had placed his favorite mouse toy, and planted the hosta 'So Sweet' on top of the grave, because Kibbie had always been my sweet boy.

I never really shared with all of you the extent of the abuse he had suffered before I rescued him, which included a gunshot wound, a lost tail, and numerous broken bones. One would think he would have been the meanest critter going after all of that, but just the opposite was true. He was the most loving creature I have ever had the good fortune to share my life with. It hurts me deeply that I was able to give him only three years of freedom from abuse before this happened. It doesn't seem fair somehow.

A few in my area have made the usual comments about him being "only a cat," which pierces my heart every time I hear it. They just don't understand the profound grief I am experiencing over losing Kibbie. Fortunately, my friends and relatives here have been very kind, supportive, and understanding. I especially want to thank two forum friends, Lucy and Pat, for the comfort they provided.

And, of course, I knew my friends here would understand. So I want to thank you all for letting me ramble on like this. Kibbie is irreplaceable, and I will love him always.

impatience · Post by **impatience** » May 05, 2005 7:11 pm

Janet, I am so sorry and my heart breaks for you. All of us that have furkids know they are family to us. I wish you peace.

Tundra_Queen · Post by **Tundra_Queen** » May 05, 2005 8:57 pm

Janet, I am so so sorry for your loss. I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face. I just feel awful that a poor animal has to suffer like that. I wish I had words to make u feel better, I'm just so so sorry. *HUGS*

Debbie

Justaysam · Post by **Justaysam** » May 05, 2005 9:32 pm

Im so sorry Janet. It is terrible to lose our pets to something untreatable causes. I think you did the best you could have for your kitty.

janey · Post by **janey** » May 05, 2005 9:33 pm

Janet~
I am so, so sorry to hear about Kibbie....that anti-freeze is wicked, wicked stuff. It was just a month ago that I lost my buddy Banks to the very same thing. He escaped, was back in a couple of hours and just that fast, died the next day. From his symptoms and behavior, the vet knew it was anti-freeze. You did the right thing to let Kibbie sleep away in peace in your arms.

I'm sorry you have had to deal w/ the unthinking comments from some others. I'm sure they don't mean to be unfeeling....sometimes people just don't know what to say or how to say it.

My heart goes out to you....Banks made me nutz sometimes, and his favorite pastime was tormenting the dog, but gosh, when he'd curl up next to me on the couch, or sit behind me when I was at the computer, I loved his warmth and softness...loved to hear his "motor" running.

I hope that your sadness will ease. I love that you put Kibbie in your garden. That's a great place for wonderful memories. I'm sure as he was looking into your eyes those last moments, it was love he felt---no traces of long ago abuse. You were a good Mom to save him.

I will be thinking of you.
janey

madmama · Post by **madmama** » May 05, 2005 9:34 pm

I am so sorry Janet.

LucyGoose · Post by **LucyGoose** » May 05, 2005 9:37 pm

Janet, I know how hard it was for you to get this posted, and I just feel so terrible for you.

.......You are such a loving person and it hurts me to see you hurt.....Just remember, you gave him 3 wonderful years. I wish I could say something better, but I don't know what to say, except that I just love you to death, and I will keep you in my thoughts....If you need to talk, call!

(((((((((((((((Janet))))))))))))))))

Patrushka · Post by **Patrushka** » May 06, 2005 12:35 am

((((((Janet)))))) I'm so sorry. My heart is just breaking for you. You were a lifesaver to Kibbie. It is wonderful that you gave him a safe, loving home for three years. I hope that your grief will lessen and you will soon find joy in your memories of him.

Some people just don't have the capacity to love an animal the way that we do. To them pets are not precious companions but replaceable possessions like a pair of old shoes.

Your garden near the statue of St. Francis is a beautiful resting place for Kibbie. It's now a lovely memorial garden.

wishiwere · Post by **wishiwere** » May 06, 2005 5:10 am

{{hugs}} Janet. I am so terribly sorry that the two of you are no longer together, he sounds like he was your best buddy and you his

So sad to lose a pet that way.

PeggyC · Post by **PeggyC** » May 06, 2005 7:54 am

Oh, Janet, I'm so, so sorry to hear about Kibbie. From your description, Kibbie knew you saved him and that's why he loved you so much. And all of us here grieve with you in the loss of such a wonderful companion. My heart goes out to you. Hugs, Peg

Annie · Post by **Annie** » May 06, 2005 9:13 am

Oh I'm oh so very sorry!
I am afraid I know how hard it is to do the right thing for our pets.
I feel for you.

pauhaus · Post by **pauhaus** » May 06, 2005 10:39 am

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. Be comforted to know that you gave him such love and the best years of his life.

Lionitus · Post by **Lionitus** » May 06, 2005 12:36 pm

Oh Dear. Janet, I'm so, so sorry. Reading your post brought me to sobs. Just two months ago my beautiful boy passed away and I too was the last person whose eyes he saw. Bless you for being Kibbie's rescuer and providing him a safe haven and loving home. I wish this were a kinder world and I thank God that you and so many others are here helping to make that wish come true.

Rest in peace Kibbie. ((((((Janet))))))

Lionitus

Snow · Post by **Snow** » May 06, 2005 1:50 pm

Blackkat · Post by **Blackkat** » May 06, 2005 3:59 pm

Janet, I am so sorry. I cry for you and Kibbie. If Kibbie needed a home, yours was the perfect place. You have tremendous kindness and compassion for animals that I wish everyone had.

Garden_of_Mu · Post by **Garden_of_Mu** » May 06, 2005 5:07 pm

Janet- I'm so sorry for your loss.

It is heartwarming to hear that he had several happy years with you filled with love after such an awful early life. Bless you for your kindness.

patsue53 · Post by **patsue53** » May 06, 2005 7:13 pm

Oh Janet, what a tragedy! I'm so sorry you've lost your sweet Kibbie in such a senseless manner. It sounds like he found heaven on Earth in your home and rewarded your kindness hundredfold. I'm sorry for your heartache. (((HUGS)))

jmboyer · Post by **jmboyer** » May 06, 2005 8:03 pm

Thank you, dear friends. Your kind and soothing words have brought me much comfort. Janey and Lionitus, my heart goes out to you both over having recently suffered the loss of a beloved animal companion. It is so difficult to endure.

As Lucy and Patrushka know, this week has been a blur for me and I had a wrenching time trying to post about losing Kibbie. Yet, at some point during this week, another emotion in addition to grief began taking hold of me....anger....and I don't know what to do with it. A quick Google search gave me a stunning statistic: 90,000 animals died a horrible death last year from the ingestion of antifreeze. Despite a mandatory safety cap, in excess of 4,000 children were poisoned by the product. The only reason this is happening appears to be the taste of the deadly elixir, which is extraordinarily sweet and irresistibly tasty to animals and small children. Why is this so? Why can't something be put into this product to make it repugnant to the taste? Why isn't someone doing something about that?

I found in my search only one or two small local efforts to address this problem. That's not enough. There may be more efforts being taken that I haven't yet discovered in my research. I intend to find out. If any of you have any information on this subject, I would appreciate knowing about it. I'm determined to focus my grief and my anger by launching a campaign to bring this problem to the forefront; and perhaps in doing so, I also will be able to honor Kibbie's memory and the memories of thousands of children and animals who have been poisoned by antifreeze.

Again, my friends, thank you for your support and kind condolences. I cannot even begin to tell you how deeply appreciative I am of your compassionate responses. I will download this thread and treasure it always.

Deb118 · Post by **Deb118** » May 06, 2005 9:45 pm

I am so sorry, Janet. I read your post earlier in the day, but could not respond. Between the tears and just not being able to put my feelings into words

I still do not have the proper words to express my sorrow.

Old earth dog · Post by **Old earth dog** » May 06, 2005 10:24 pm

So very sorry for your loss Janet. As I've said before, I lost three to anti-freeze almost 30 yrs ago. From what I understand, it is even deadlier to cats than dogs.