The Trouble with Really

Lionitus · Post by **Lionitus** » Jun 12, 2005 10:58 am

This is our 18-year-old kitty, Really. She has been quite a character all these years, a very cantankerous old cuss. She's always tried to put on airs of being a salty grump who didn't like anybody, but in private with just DH and me she loved attention!

We are at a crossroads with her and I'd love to hear your opinions. Due to a genetic condition, she has gone completely blind. Unfortunately, in the last month she has also become very disoriented. She has been consistenly missing her litter box so yesterday we set her up with her own food and water dish in our bedroom where she sleeps and gave her her own litter box in the master bathroom since she can't make it down the hall to the big box anymore. I find her sitting with her face in corners or sitting in her litter box (not using it, just sitting in it) and yesterday DH said he found her actually eating litter. He was pretty upset and said he thinks it's time to put her down. I have to admit, she is completely disoriented these days and has much trouble navigating the house. That's why we've given her her own "eco-system" if you know what I mean. I thought containing her and everything she needs would help, but it doesn't seem to be making much difference.

I'm bristling at putting her down, especially on the heels of losing our precious Puppy the cat just a couple months ago. She is not ill in the sense that she's physically sick, but my DH says she's mentally not well and therefore he feels she is suffering. I don't know what to do. I know he's right, but at the same time she eats and still purrs sometimes. I have noticed too that she isn't even responding to my voice like she was just a month or so ago.

What do you all think? I appreciate and value your opinions and advice.

Thanks,
Lionitus

Snow · Post by **Snow** » Jun 12, 2005 11:29 am

Have you had her at the vet? Could she have an ear infection, or even a tumor? The disorientation seems like it would have an organic source. She's beautiful. I would definately talk it all out with the vet and maybe run a few tests (if you havent already) before deciding.

patsue53 · Post by **patsue53** » Jun 12, 2005 2:04 pm

Perhaps she's had a stroke? Poor girl. I could never tell anyone that it's time to put their pet to sleep. Your heart will tell you when it's time. ((HUG))

Lionitus · Post by **Lionitus** » Jun 12, 2005 3:15 pm

Thank you PatSue and Snow. Actually, we have conferred with two veterinarians who agreed that she is suffering from the rigors of old age and related dementia. I guess I'm just looking for some validation and words of wisdom and comfort. I realize you can't make my decision for me. It's just difficult coming on the heels of putting down our other kitty. The husband and I get so terribly attached to our pets and I struggle so much with these decisions. We just happened to end up with three kitties all over the age of 12 so I kind of expected to have this happen.

Unfortunately, due to her very frail health, Really is not a candidate for any strong drugs or surgeries so whatever befalls her at this point is going to be her stopping point. I just went back to our bedroom to spend some time with her. I sat with her and talked with her and stroked her head. She's always been a biter and so she turned her head to nip me (she's done this her whole life) and she fell over. I think I know what we have to do.

She had a wonderful 18 years. We've loved her so very much.

Thanks guys, I appreciate your help.

Lionitus

mamawsdaughter · Post by **mamawsdaughter** » Jun 12, 2005 4:27 pm

it is hard to make that decision to put down an precious pet...I myself am struggling with the same problem...my beautiful seairra has become very aggressive and mean...I guess that is sort of the same...she is my cat so DH is letting me make that decision...I am just waiting till her last 2 kittens are gone...I am not going to tell you to put her down...no one here will...it is your decision...but we can offer here is a shoulder to cry on if you do or words of encouragement...

mamawsdaughter

jmboyer · Post by **jmboyer** » Jun 12, 2005 6:14 pm

Lionitus, my heart goes out to you. I cannot believe that our situations are so similar. My cat, Ebony, who is also eighteen, is failing rapidly. When you said that your Really stared at walls and fell down, I nearly wept. Ebony does the same thing, and two days ago simply fell over onto her side. She has another vet appointment on Friday. They are trying to stabilize her hyperthyroidism and liver problems, but they have already told me that these are only stopgap measures. Yet, having just lost Kibbie, I can scarcely bear the thought of losing Ebony, who has been a loving companion for all these eighteen years.

Lionitus, only you can make this painful decision. I, and all of us, know the anguish in your heart. For myself, I keep hoping that when the time comes, I will recognize it and have the courage to free Ebony. I pray the same for you. Let us both take comfort in knowing that for Ebony and Really to have reached the fine old age of eighteen, we had to have given them scrupulous love and care.

Lionitus, you have the love, understanding, and compassion of every person on this forum. We are with you spiritually and will continue to be here for you.

PeggyC · Post by **PeggyC** » Jun 12, 2005 6:55 pm

Lionitus, Janet said it so eloquently that I can't add anything except that my thoughts are exactly the same as hers.

Janet and Lionitus, my heart goes out to both of you. We are here when you need us.

Lionitus · Post by **Lionitus** » Jun 12, 2005 9:36 pm

mamawsdaugher and Janet, geez it 's amazing how similar our situations are. Looks like we all have some difficult days ahead. I take comfort in knowing all our kitties are well cared for and we are doing everything we can to help them. I too think often of the people I meet here and say little prayers for them and their pets when needed. As I've said here so many times now it renews my spirit and faith in humanity to come to this forum and communicate with the wonderful people here about our furkids. It's a great comfort. Thanks Chris for giving us this haven!

RockinC Peg, thank you so much for your kind words and support. It's so very appreciated. I've kept my husband up to date on the status of your new arrival. Today I mentioned it and I said "you know, here's the miracle of life right in front of us again. A precious life will leave this earth and a precious life will enter this earth." This too is a comfort.

Thanks Again,
Lionitus

mooie · Post by **mooie** » Jun 12, 2005 11:00 pm

It's so very hard to let them go....

To every season........

mooie

Snow · Post by **Snow** » Jun 12, 2005 11:12 pm

I know how hard this is to deal with, only too well. Whether it's from a lingering illness, or a sudden one - it's just as hard either way. Bless your hearts. I am also one who found themselves with 3 "older" kitties at one time. I still have two of them - but lost one, and one of my younger cats within a year. I now have two 14 year olds, a 9 year old, and a 1 year old. It never ends, though, does it

Tundra_Queen · Post by **Tundra_Queen** » Jun 12, 2005 11:34 pm

Lionitus I am so sorry about your kitty. That is so sad.

I'm wondering if she is falling over because she is blind and has nothing she can focus on to keep her balance?

I was going to suggest spraying some Pledge furniture polish along the walls where her nose height is so she can smell it and know where the wall is and know it is safe to follow that smell, making it easier for her to walk around.

I know people say to do this for dogs that are blind and cats have much better sense of smell than dogs.

Take care
Debbie

Old earth dog · Post by **Old earth dog** » Jun 12, 2005 11:40 pm

I've been through this so very many times in my almost 60 yrs. It never gets easier, but I'll never stop having furkids in my life. Please don't avoid this for your own reasons. With all your heart, you can know that your family here at the Hallson forum will cry with you, then smile with the fond memmories you've created with Really.

wishiwere · Post by **wishiwere** » Jun 13, 2005 8:01 am

So sorry your families are going through this. Nothing can be so difficult as that final decision when it comes to a pet, and my heart and prayers that you make the decision when the time comes to do what you know is best. Only you can decide that, but you know we are here to listen and offer a shoulder......... {{hugs}} to you all.

newtohosta-no more · Post by **newtohosta-no more** » Jun 13, 2005 10:25 am

This is such a heart breaking thread to read, because we all have had to face (or will be facing soon) this very same thing with our furkids. And because we love them so very much we truly understand what you are going through. This IS such a personal decision and you'll know when is the right time for you and your family. You know cats will purr when you pet them practically right up until they take their last breath, so it's hard to judge when the cat has reached it's limit by how it responds. That even makes the decision harder, I think, but it's also nice that you know they can respond to your presence and leave the world with love and peace. My heart goes out to all of you currently facing this with your furkids.

Lionitus · Post by **Lionitus** » Jun 13, 2005 2:45 pm

Thanks again everyone. Gosh, it's a sad day on the forum today. We've made the appointment to put Really down this afternoon. She walked out to the kitchen today and had quite a lot of trouble with her hind legs. She's just at the end of a very long, but happy life. I dread this, but it's not about me.

OED, thank you so much for the gentle nudge. You're right and we will always have animals too. Life sure would be much less wonderful without them.

Lionitus

impatience · Post by **impatience** » Jun 13, 2005 4:39 pm

I am so sorry.

Ginger · Post by **Ginger** » Jun 13, 2005 5:05 pm

There is a place for her in Kitty heaven, that I do believe in! Hugs and tears for you and Really.

Ginger

LucyGoose · Post by **LucyGoose** » Jun 13, 2005 5:08 pm

I am so sad to read this......But your doing the right thing, at the right time.....

(((((((Huggs)))))))

wishiwere · Post by **wishiwere** » Jun 13, 2005 6:19 pm

{{hugs}} and thougths are with you both this afternoon. It's never an easy road to travel, but one that soon will be replaced with all the memories of that wonderful friend.

Squash Blossom · Post by **Squash Blossom** » Jun 13, 2005 8:01 pm

My heart goes out to you. A week ago today I thought I might be facing this same decision with my 12 1/2 year old pug, Rosebud, but she managed to get back on her feet.

All any animal has is quality of life - being loved, being comfortable, having fun and enjoying the world around them. As a person who truly believes in the Rainbow Bridge, I feel like an even better life awaits our beloved companions but releasing them is the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Ann